Jun 3, 2010

Just me — and the toilet seat firmly down, thank you.

“Just for one?”
Seems like a harmless enough question.
But, for singles, this innocuous little phrase carries a lot of clout.
For singles, it’s saying, “Really? You’re alone? How embarrassing.”
OK, so maybe that’s a bit of an exaggeration.
Maybe, as a 31-year-old single woman, I’m a little sensitive.
Being single is not a new concept to me, but never have I been so acutely aware of my singledom than on a recent solo trip to San Francisco.
The most outing of examples was me standing in line with 30 other people, waiting to get in an elevator to take us up the 210- storey Coit Tower.
The elevator, not surprisingly, can only hold so many people.
So, when it was near to capacity, the kind elevator operator called out to the masses: “We have room for one more. Anybody by themselves?”
Picture me, red-faced, stepping out of the packed line and making my way to the front, all eyes on me — just me.
Mind you, I did jump the line and get to see the stunning 360-degree views of the city a half-hour before the others ahead of me.
However, I can’t help but feel society is geared for the couple.
Think about it.
Aside from the often awkward dinner and movie scenarios, singles have it rough, especially if you want to travel.
You can’t take an all-inclusive vacation without facing an obscene amount of tax.
You can’t stay at many hotels because the rates are based on double occupancy.
You can, however, take your chances with single-geared resorts dubbed “Temptation Resort” or the not-so-appealing “Hedonism II” and “Hedonism III.”
I bet you can take a wild guess as to what kind of vacation that would be.
No thanks.
Even single objects are given a dual classification: A pair of pants, underwear, jeans, glasses, binoculars, scissors, pliers, tweezers, tongs — the list goes on.
And society looks at men and women singles differently, too.
Especially after a certain age, men are eligible bachelors, living carefree, luxurious lives, while women are desperate spinsters, living in a basement with cats.
But, being single does not equal being lonely — if you let go of the stigmas of a relationship-obsessed society.
Beyond the over-squeezed toothpaste and classic seat-up toilet problems, single is an opportunity for us to have fun, learn and find out who we really are.
It forces you to be stronger, build a tight network of friends and reconnect with your family as you get older.
If you let go of the fear of singledom, that doesn’t sound so bad.
Plus, you can be totally selfish and buy too many pairs of shoes, redecorate your house in pretty colours (and keep it looking nice most of the time) and put an unnecessary number of pillows on the bed.
Did I already mention the toothpaste and toilet thing?
Despite all of the above, I’m not going to lie and say it wouldn’t be nice to meet a man who’s nice, funny, smart and handsome (know of any?) and fall in love.
But, until then, I’m perfectly content with being me — just me.


Tilly said...

Hi Melissa, not to worry there is hope. Check on and you can now "stand out" without being "singled" out.

If you would like to see some samples give me a call, 250.851.2670

It is also a great fundraiser if you know of any cause that would fit this type of exposure.

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